Myself as I Want to Be

“Myself as I Want to Be”

March 10, 2012

What do I want to be?  Who do I want to look like?  I know that I don’t want my life to look like anyone on this planet.  There are too many people walking around who think way too highly of themselves, and I know for a fact that I don’t want to be one of those people, so why would I waste my time idolizing them? 

I want to have my own style, letting beauty inspire me as it may.  I want to love myself enough to spend time making myself look nice and taking care of my body.  I want to be able to wear a two-piece swimsuit and look good in it.  I want to be a true example of an athletic, strong woman.  I want to look “good” but still be able to beat people up if I have to.  I never, ever want to be seen as “just a woman”.  I want to continue to be versatile and flexible enough to do yard work and curl my hair in the same evening (real yard work, not just weeding flower beds).  I want to continue to be able to lift anything I want to lift and not have to have a man’s help.  I hate it when people say, “I need a strong guy to help me…(fill in the blank).”  Get strong and do it yourself!

I want my life to be a life of love and service. I want to be a good wife and a good mother, eventually.  I want to raise my family in the way that I know to be right.  However, I know I am far from ready to have children, so let’s focus on something else.

I want to be the kind of wife that my husband will love coming home to.  I want to fill my days with creativity, spontaneity, romance, music, and art.  I want to live in a comfortable home where I don’t have to worry about anything falling apart.  I want to have the things I need, but not have anything in extravagance.  I want to be willing to yield to others, whether it’s my husband or coworkers.  I want to be able to not take things personally.  I want to be able to sort through my own feelings without needing too much help from other people, and without putting myself down.  

I see myself being a kind, giving, and energetic person.  I want to re-become a dedicated runner, and compete in 5ks and half-marathons regularly, and eventually start tackling marathons. 

I want to accomplish something.  I want to think back to my “big revelation” and actually do something about it (focusing on Hispanic-American young women and their educations).  I want to have a purpose and know what it is, and let all my words, thoughts, and actions grow me towards that purpose.  That’s myself as I want to be.