7

Okay, so here it is.

Some of you have heard me say a thing or two about 7.  What in the world is 7? Is Gilda just really fascinated with that particular integer?

I really do like the number, but what ended up happening was this crazy author, Jen Hatmaker, wrote a book called "7", and this book was handed to me by my Number One Kansas Mom-ish Friend, Debbie.  The book was placed in my hands last fall, with the explanation, "You should read this; I think it's kind of how you're wired anyway."

Well, let me tell ya, it is DEFINITELY how I am wired.

I hadn't been too much into reading lately, but I read this book crazy-fast.  It is written in this amazing, fast-paced, full-of-humor way.  It's sort of like a journal, but a very special one.  It details the journey which the author and her family and close friends took over about a 7 month period of drastic change and reduction in their lives.

Jen got together with a group of 6 of her friends and said, "We have too much in America.  We don't appreciate it enough.  We have crazy expectations of everything, and we feel entitled to way too much.  Let's get inspired to fight against it."

So each month for 7 months, they focused on one area.  Food, Clothing, Possessions, Media, Waste, Spending, and Stress.

It's a really great read, and so eye-opening, but mainly, for people like me, inspiring.  After reading it, I felt like I could FINALLY be bold about some of my beliefs and my lifestyle, and it was so energizing to hear somebody else take the words right out of my heart.

The coolest part about reading "7" was how it inspired my Mom-ish Friend to grab a bunch of us and try this crazy experiment for ourselves. Our version was 7 weeks instead of 7 months. But it still did the trick.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants their hearts moved a little bit.  Anyone who wants a new challenge.  Anyone who isn't scared to think outside their comfort zone.

Reading the book and going through the experiment myself really shifted some thoughts around inside of me.  I'm still trying to figure out how to express some of the more ...... bold thoughts I have.  But for anyone who may be a regular reader of my blog, maybe this explanation will help any further writing make sense.

Or maybe I just wanted to get it out and written down in an organized way. Either way, there it is.  I'm hoping for a movement of strong, organized, concise thoughts to flow from this point on, and hopefully let you all a little bit more into my head.

~ G

Choose, Seek, Embrace

I've learned this year that it's all about choices.

I get to choose what I devote my time to.

I get to choose how I feel.

I get to choose what I write about.

I get to choose what I give importance to.

It's surprising how often I choose to feel panicked, when I have peace just at my fingertips.  Peace is available to all of us, all the time.

At the beginning of the year, I took a class that altered the way I wanted to view the world.  The "One Thousand Gifts" author encouraged us all to not go through life like it's an emergency, but to slow down, count each moment for what it is, and be thankful.

This year has given plenty of opportunities for grumbling and complaining, but even more for thanksgiving.

As the new year takes over, I want to step up my "Thankful Game".

To turn over a new leaf, I must train my brain and eyes to think differently.  

I will love, laugh, connect, play, and dream.

I will cry, think too hard, and give myself headaches.

But through it all, I will continue to choose energy, seek joy, and embrace the grace.

I hope you will, too.

Excited for the journey,

Gilda

My First Thanksgiving

11-27-2013

Today is Thanksgiving, a major American holiday.

I was thinking earlier that I don't seem to make as big a deal out of holidays as everyone around me.  Don't get me wrong, I don't think holidays are bad. 

But, in processing my thoughts and feelings about holidays, I realize that I really had no family structure growing up to show me the "American Way" or "how holidays are supposed to be done".  That's just a fact.  I am a first-generation Hispanic-American.

 A.K.A. --- my family is from Mexico, and my parents had no idea how to do things "the American Way."

I realize that this has made my experience a bit different from that of my friends and other loved ones in my life.

The first Thanksgiving we celebrated as a family was when I was in 5th grade.  It consisted of my sister, my father, and myself.

Basically, what happened was that my sister and I had spent enough years in elementary school, surrounded by children whose family structure was more traditional than ours.  We saw them and heard them every year talking about all the holidays, so of course, after a while we started asking questions---and telling our dad how it was "supposed to be".

So, in 5th grade, I told my dad, "We need to buy a turkey.  We need to cook a Thanksgiving dinner.  We are supposed to make something called stuffing.  And mashed potatoes."

My dad wanted to do anything that would make his girls happy, so went to the store and bought a turkey, a box of stuffing (don't know how I figured out what it looked like), and a box of instant mashed potatoes.

My dad helped me soak the turkey overnight in Sunny Delight orange juice.  Yes, really.
I cooked the rest of the meal.  Yup, as a 5th grader.  Not because my dad couldn't cook, and he did help a little, but because I watched lots of Food Network cooking shows at this point and also could read the English directions on the boxes.  :)

We have Polaroid pictures of the meal. 

I knew we were supposed to dress up, so I put on my favorite dress.  I knew we were supposed to pray, and I knew how to say the Our Father because I was taking Catholic CCD classes (a story all on its own--another instance of me saying, "Daddy, we are supposed to be doing this by now..."), so I made us all hold hands and I said the prayer.

I don't remember any other specific Thanksgivings in our household growing up.  I'm sure there were one or two more until I graduated from high school.  Maybe it's because Mexican families are bigger on Christmas, and this was when my grandmother would visit and we would do all of our big cooking (read: TAMALES!).

Seven of the eight Thanksgivings in my early adulthood have been celebrated with a meal and with a group of people.  I have spent time with different friends, seeing how different people celebrate the same holiday.  It's been a learning experience.  The family unit always amazes me.  It's astounding to show up as a guest to a dinner and have my friend tell me, "I'm related to every single person in this room."  I have never known anything like that.

I didn't grow up with a big family--just my mom, dad, sister, and I.  My maternal grandmother, aunt, uncle, and younger cousin lived in Mexicali, Baja California, Mexico--an hour away from my hometown in Arizona.  We visited them often, but that's as big as my family got.  I have never met any of my dad's side of the family.  They are deep down in Mexico, and I've never been.  (Yes, this is a project on my Near Future List)

I guess in telling my story, I hope to encourage people to remember that there are individuals out there who truly don't know what a family or a family gathering is "supposed to look like", and for different reasons.  I want people to remember that we're all different.  I want people to remember that not everyone has experienced everything we think they have experienced, or everything we think they "should have experienced by now".  I want us to stop putting each other in boxes.  I want us to start embracing other people's stories and backgrounds, not just pretend to understand.  I want us to not feel sorry for people like me: "Oh, poor her! She never had pumpkin pie as a child!"  It's not the end of the world.  Not everyone grows up the same way. 

We all end up on the same journey.

2012 Firsts

2012 Firsts

 

A couple times throughout the year, I found myself thinking, “Wow, that’s the first time this has ever happened/I have ever done this/I have ever seen this.”  So, I thought it was a good “blog topic”---something for me to sit down and consciously spend time thinking about and forming into words.  Let’s see what comes out:

It all started with December 26, 2011, the day I purchased my first car.  A 2012 Chevy Sonic, white in color, small in size, excellent in gas mileage.  I know that this day was truly the beginning of my 2012, and my new life. 

Since my birthday is in the month of December, I think it’s appropriate for me to consider my years as December through December.  So, let’s go with that. 

When I came home with my new car (Ellsworth, Kansas at the time), it started a whole new set of conversations between myself and my significant other; real, tough, hard questions about whether our relationship was truly where we wanted it to be, whether each one of us was happy…those kinds of questions.  This conversation has continued all year, in various forms. 

Because of these conversations, January 2012 was a month of preparation for me to move out on my own.  For the first time in my life, I was researching apartments and houses to live in.  It was a scary experience.  I’m a very detail-oriented person, which is a nice way to say I absolutely need to feel in control of everything at all times, and so it was challenging for me to embark on an adventure I’d never been on before.  January was a month of research on the computer, phone calls to landlords, and physical visits to houses to check them out.  It was also the first month that I spent of my life commuting to work in my own vehicle.  At the end of January, I moved to Salina, Kansas.  I was already familiar with Salina, as it is 15 miles from where I went to college, and is always where I’d gone to church; “My whole life was in Salina”, as I was accustomed to saying, so the relocation merely felt like me accepting god’s will for me. 

February 2012 was the first month I made a car payment.  It was also the first time I’d lived in someone’s basement, and the first time I had a roommate outside of college (didn’t consider my significant other a “roommate”).  February also marked the first time I spent a night in Salina, not in a hotel.  February 8, 2012 was the first session of my first “real” bible study: a group of women all gathered with the same books in hand, willingly gathered to learn more about the Bible.  The study was a Beth Moore one, on the book of James.  It was called “James: Mercy Triumphs”.  I am convinced that this study could not have come at a more perfect time for me.  I was so emotionally exhausted and fighting off depression and anxiety at all times from my move and physical separation from my loved one.  I knew that if I let my focus shift or wander, or if I let my motivation dwindle, or let my mind feel sorry for itself, I would soon be headed into a dangerous tailspin (it had happened before, my junior year of college; a topic for another time).  I didn’t want to go there again.  So, I conveniently found something, a group to join, for every night of the week, a desperate attempt to keep my mind occupied at all times and only allow myself to go home to my miserable basement with enough time to get ready for bed and pass out for the night.  But my James study revealed so much to me; James is my first “favorite” book of the Bible. 

From my James study, comes another 2012 first: the first time I memorized any scripture (purposefully).  Part of the James study includes the challenge to memorize the whole book.  I’m still working on it, but I have mastered the entire first two chapters.  I also recited an entire chapter of a book of the Bible out loud to a friend for the first time during February.  (I lived in this basement through the end of June 2012.  It was only five months, but at times it felt like it would never end (more on that another time).)

I then spent weeks preparing for my first ever Sondra Miller-Emmanuel Foursquare Church Easter production, which by default, ended up being my first time performing on the Steiffel Theatre stage in Salina (awesome!!).  Easter was April 8^th.  I also participated in my first Messiah Festival for Bethany College during which I was commuting from Salina for rehearsals, and it was my first Easter preparing for and participating in two Easter productions simultaneously. 

May 2012, was my first trip home (out West, Arizona) by myself since 2008.  It was the first trip I took home “just to visit”, in my adult life, not on a “break” from school, but on a “vacation” by myself, the working young adult.  Much of the purpose of the trip was to see my sister graduate from college, so this was also the first time I got to see my sister graduate from college.  J

In June, I ran in my first competitive run outside of organized school athletics; my first “on-my-own” race.  It was also the first time I went to the Salina Riverfest (good food, expensive jewelry).  June also marked the beginning of my lease at my very first apartment, all by myself, on my own.  No roommates, no boyfriend; just me, and eventually, my cat.  So, June included the first night I spent alone in a place all of my own.  Ever.

June 22^nd was Jodi’s first birthday after having graduated from college, and it was the first time I ever sang karaoke by myself.  It was also the first time we had a bonfire at church on the new front patio area. 

My first concert at the Bicentennial Center in Salina was on August 25^th.  It was Alan Jackson. 

This past summer included lots of firsts for which I don’t have specific dates, including:

• First time running on the dike in Salina
• First time parking at the church and taking off on a run from there
• Frist time running on South Middle School’s track
• First time doing a live Zumba class (Extravaganza at Genesis Health Club)
• First time having shaved ice at Sno-Wizard in Salina
• First time driving to a WV event on my own (Topeka Regionals)
• First time looking up at the sky through a telescope, and seeing Venus transit the sun
• First motorcycle ride, and first time in many of the tiny towns we rode through on the back roads on that ride
• First time playing pool at Big Nose Kate’s in Salina and eating at Legends Bar & Grill
• First time eating at Cotija’s in Salina
• First time shopping at Sunset Dillons and Baby Dillons (which, sadly, closed)
• First time watching the movie “Footloose”
• My first dance class (“Devotion in Motion” with S’ambrosia)

 

Post-summer, the firsts continued.

 

• First time making it to one year at a job after college
• First time renting movies from Family Video in Salina
• First time drinking coffee regularly
• First time eating lox  
• First time drinking homemade beer
• First time visiting Rock City in Minneapolis, Ks
• First time running on Ohio and Markley Streets in Salina
• First time visiting the Salina YMCA
• First time working a part-time job “just because” (didn’t last long)
• First time attending a show at the Salina Community Theatre (“Footloose”)

 

And, other random firsts I cannot otherwise categorize (or am tired of trying to come up with categories for):

• First time participating in women’s groups at church (Rachel, Nikki, Kristy)
• First time attending a bible study with the “older gals” at Joy’s house
• First time attending bible study with Jennifer’s church group
• First time helping out and being a part of Anthem Youth Group at church
• First time I visited Ad Astra books and coffeehouse!!
• First time visiting White Peacock coffeehouse in Lindsborg, KS
• First time I played racquetball
• First time visiting Salina Animal Shelter
• First time having a “regular dentist” and going for a cleaning since age 8
• First root canal (at specialist in Newton, KS)
• First time going to an American oral surgeon (wisdom teeth)
• First time playing put-put golf in the mall in Salina
• First time being exposed to “The Hobbit”
• First time I went to a movie all by myself (“Pitch Perfect”)
• First time I visited a friend’s house who lives “on the Hill” in Salina
• First time going garage-saling in salina
• First time visiting thrift stores in Salina
• First time driving by myself from Tucson to Yuma
• First time driving around and looking at Christmas lights in Salina (with Gloria)
• First Kansas “family” Christmas with Mattisons
• First time my sorority had a line of ONE cross (Headstrong)
• First time I hiked at Lakewood park, and at Indian Rock (got stuck on the hill)

 This is the first year I write a “Firsts” blog; one of my goals for 2013 is to do this on a more regular basis, maybe sit down once a month and think really hard and get them all out, that way I can be sure I don’t miss any, because I’m sure I’ve missed a couple for this year.  It makes me a little sad, to think that there are some memories that are lost forever.  I see each memory as an integrally important piece of my soul... I hate to think that I let any of those pieces go unnoticed.  Here’s to 2013 being a year of noticing the subtle and magical things that make life what it is.